Robocop [1987]

Awww, ‘Robocop’. Don’t tell the real police, but this was my first viewing of pirated material, a VHS copy secured by a mate of G’s dad before it came out in the UK. We were a slender ten years younger than the age rating the film received on its release, but our cinematurity was trusted. Or perhaps just not even considered. My word, what abysmal parenting on the part of all concerned.

G put his tape on, and immediately offered to fast forward through the fake news segments which open the story, and continue to crop up throughout it. I found this idea far more unsettling than anything in ‘Robocop’ itself. (K still can’t help but touch cloth if someone even mentions ED-209.) These items are a part of the narrative as much as anything else. We’re here to watch the film, G, so let’s watch the film. Appalled, I turned him down, and I still remember his confused face. And it was that day I knew I wasn’t like the other boys.

c. a quarter of a century later, I get to see it in the cinema, surrounded by people who, like A’s friend whose name I don’t remember, might have also looked at the picture on the video box when it came out, and also said to the other youngsters in the room ‘I just love his legs. I think they’re brilliant. And his chest. Look at it. That gun in his leg, I love it. His helmet’s amazing. His arms are great. I love him. I just love all of him’, and everyone being fine with it.

With each new viewing over the decades, the action scenes haven’t got any less fabulous or constitutive of its success, but the satirical comedy has become more noticeable and rewarding. Aside from any of its other strengths, this is a very funny film. And those news segments G was so keen to skip over are a big part of that. I never forget.

And the editing is so good I feel like crying just thinking about it. It is well tight. Sometimes art can be more beautiful than anything.