AMERICAN MARY [2012]
In one of the interviews on one of the DVDs for one of the series of ‘Curb your Enthusiasm’, Larry David is asked why his show was given that name. He replies something to the effect that the enthusiastic are tediously exhausting to be near, their bouncing frothiness swirling round into a Charybdis of energy suction for all others caught up in their draining orbit. And I, for the most part, chest-down on an unvacuumed sofa with only the rolling of my eyes enabling the expulsion of calories, agree with him. I think briefly of those who have started a discussion with ‘Hey, guys! I just had a great idea!’ or ‘Oh my god! Do you know what we should do?’ before realising I’ve had no actual contact with such people, having only seen them in the cuntiest of coffee shops and North American sitcoms. But not ‘Curb your Enthusiasm’.
But when exceptions come, they might as well be truly exceptional. They might as well be the Soska sisters. Seconds after rhapsoding onto the stage, ‘American Mary’ writers/directors Jen and Sylvia excitedly grab the trophy for ‘Most entertaining FrightFest guests ever’ from whoever it was who held it before them – probably John Landis – in a way that the previous winner – yeah, it probably was John Landis – would happily concede their loss. Their grinningly cheerful, high-energy eagerness almost stops me looking in the wings for their leading performer. Admittedly, Ross Noble might have caused a slightly higher level of mirth when he was on stage earlier in the week, but then, that’s his fucking job, isn’t it? In summary, Vote Soska. For Anything.
Aside from all that, they also bring a film with them. Given the star and the introduction it’s been given, I’m in a critically amenable mood, but the same thing could be said just before I started watching ‘Pulp Fiction’, and I ended up thinking that was a bit dull. But this doesn’t disappoint. In fact, it ends up being the best film of the festival, nudging just ahead of ‘Sinister’.
Katharine Isabelle plays Mary, a medical student who would really love to be a surgeon. ADMIRE how she has more than one textbook in her flat at a time! SQUEAL as she takes notes because of her desire to know more! SWOON as she practices her stitching on a shop-bought turkey! PHEW as she notes it ‘wasn’t an eating turkey’!
But, oh, the student debt! Mary’s got a fuckmassive loan, and it needs repaying, like now. After its first arrival in the plot, I was confused when the next scene didn’t break out with graphs on economic accessibility to higher learning, an explanation of the distinction between national debt and national deficit, a paean on free education for all, a rallying speech about shared working class interests, a series of mug shots of high-profile wealthy tax avoiders, a lament on combining full-time study with part-time casualised labour, and at least something about burning bankers out of their homes to the backing chant of ‘No Justice! No peace! Fuck the police!’ When all this failed to appear, I realised this was neither one of the lefty documentaries I habitually put on to make myself miserably angry, nor was it the mixed bag of anarchists, Trots, and give-them-time social democrats I spend 70% of my evenings with. Happily, the film delivered in other areas.
Forced to move the narrative on by appreciative representatives of the body modification community, and a personal desire to right a very nasty wrong committed against herself, Mary quits medical school to chop up and rearrange a happy bunch of customers whose limbs aren’t attached to where they’d most prefer them to be. Her scalpel skills develop fast, further helped by having some unwilling canvases to practice on. And these canvases aren’t turkeys, know what I mean?
For all this, ‘American Mary’ doesn’t really fit in as a ‘horror’, lacking in staples like jump scares, the building of dread, or look-away torture-porn imagery. But what it is, though, is really fucking good, managing to make its achievements appear easily done, when they definitely aren’t. A lot of it’s very funny, everything and everyone looks amazing, and Mary’s an immensely likeable and sympathetic character, even as she gets increasingly unhinged and desperate as the story goes on.
If there is a fault, it’s in the transitions between acts. Mary’s sudden shift to nutzoid bodymod surgeon, chucking people out of her back-alley workplace who only want vanilla-as-fuck piercings is a bit jarring. However, this jump in her character gets a good laugh, so that goes a big way to redeeming it. But the sudden conclusion to the film is less satisfying, following the late-stage inclusion of a major conflict between her and another character which very rapidly brings things to a close.
On the other hand, who gives a fuck? I haven’t had this much fun since the last time I did something I enjoyed just as much.
AFTER [2012]
Didn’t watch this. Later on, T gave me a verbal review, which started with ‘It was shit’, and didn’t get any better from there.
I got to Leicester Square about an hour and a half before ‘American Mary’ started, dedicated to my autograph-photo quest, like a brave knight off to hunt down a dragon and slay it dead, or at least tell it how much they enjoyed their performance in a low-budget Canadian horror film trilogy made twelve years ago. As the time of the showing got nearer, Katharine Isabelle still hadn’t appeared, my stakeout of the main steps bearing no British Columbian fruit, my nostrils clogging up with the smell of my own desperation.
This sensation intensified after the film, as I was near literally on her heels as she left the auditorium. Not, of course, literally on her heels, as I am not some kind of physically abusive circus performer. But such close pursuit was to little effect, as she, Jen and Sylvia were corralled into a press and interview pit. During this time, I did manage to talk to the twins, who were extremely pleased to do photos and also to sign a Vancouver map book, excitedly saying ‘Let’s hang out!’ in a way that seemed actually genuine when I told them I was often in the area.
When the moment I’d all been waiting for arrived, Katharine was very nice, and was good enough to do not just a photo with me, but also be shot holding a sign I’d made for the absent A, another ‘Ginger Snaps’ devotee, bearing a ‘Wish you were here!’ legend. For much of the meeting, I was pretty much awesomed into silence, not even mentioning I’d gone to the preparatory trouble of sitting through her less-remembered ‘Ogre’. During our two-shot, because I was uncertain of physical contact etiquette during these situations, I kept alternating back and forth between touching and not touching, to the extent she was almost certainly wondering why I was prodding her in the back. But like a true big-hearted B-movie professional, not a questioning word was said. And later on, A’s typed reply to receiving her personalised photo was filled with so much happiness, that action alone pretty much made the summer. Aww.
I came to wonder who else out there I would get equally squiggly about meeting. Looking quickly at my DVDs, I can pick out Belinda Balaski, Scarlett Johansson, David Duchovny, Bridget Fonda, Werner Herzog, Bill Murray, Michael Fassbender, Amy Adams, Emily Blunt, Jeffrey Combs, Barbara Crampton, Sigourney Weaver, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Rosanna Arquette, Ethan Hawke, Julie Delpy, Bruce Willis, probably some others on the lower shelf, and Avril Lavigne. Oh my god, imagine that. Last November after her first night at the Hammersmith Apollo, there looked to be the possibility she might come out for a signing. P factually declared ‘If you meet her you’ll just lose your shit, won’t you?’ but in the end it didn’t happen, probably because of all that death-threat business earlier in the day. And it’s with great sadness that any meeting we might have now would need to begin with me asking (1) ‘Why have you shaved half of your head?’ and (2) ‘The one out of Nickelback? Really? Like, really really?’
CHAINED [2012]
After so much excitement, it was time for another film. And this one turned out to be really good as well, being as unpleasant to watch as ‘The Seasoning House’, but better.
It’s tempting to end this well-written review there, but the film begins with a young boy and his mother getting kidnapped and taken to a remote house by a serial murderer-rapist. Hello, Vincent D’Onofrio! Congrats on playing another mental! The now-motherless boy’s day goes from utterly horrible to even utterlyly horribler, as Vincent decides to keep him as a chained (ohhhhhh, I see) servant, and years later (!) the now-pubescent man is encouraged to follow his mentor and get to know some women. It’s no trouble – he can pick them out from a local college yearbook with a knife, and they’ll be delivered later that night for his personal use. The apprentice is a bit reluctant to do this, what with him being able to remember the first few seasons of his life which were tainted by morality and not being totally fucking insane, and it’s all going to end in a conclusion at some point.
When the posters for this come out, they’ll have the words ‘claustrophobic’ and ‘harrowing’ on them. Maybe also ‘tense’ and ‘brooding’, but that might just be on the larger ones that appear on the far side of Tube platforms. Look out for that.
THE POSSESSION [2012]
One time L and I were choosing which film we were going to see. In fact, that was also in Leicester Square. It was between Sam Raimi’s ’Drag Me to Hell’ and Gideon Koppel’s ‘Sleep Furiously’, a dilemma everyone has to face at some point. In the end, we went for ‘Sleep Furiously’. I reasoned I’d see ‘Drag Me to Hell’ pretty soon anyway. That was three years ago. ‘Sleep Furiously’ was alright, and we mostly remembered it for the woman who had to send a frozen owl through Royal Mail.
So faced with another ‘Sam Raimi presents…’ situation, I had the primary thought ‘I’ll watch that when it comes out in a few weeks’, with the secondary thought ‘I probably won’t, though’. So far, it looks like my secondary thought knows what it’s thinking about.
I went home. It was school the next day.
‘The Evil Dead’ unnecessary remake’s out soon as well, if it isn’t already. I’m sure I’m busy that night. When is it?
TOWER BLOCK [2012]
Yeah, I would have been asleep by this point.
Best films:
- ‘American Mary’
- ‘Sinister’
- ‘Sleep Tight’
- ‘Chained’
That’s as far as I want to go, really. That I can’t bring myself to do a top five says something pretty negative, I think. To conclude, FrightFest 2012 had notably fewer good quality films than in previous years – at least on the main screen – but the highlights were as strong as they’ve ever been. If I’m there for next time, I’d prefer a more consistent collection, but those four made it worthwhile this August.
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